My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
