just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
