let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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