I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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