Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
