the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
