areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
