Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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