dude i'm inner monologue high
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
