I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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