Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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