when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
