Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
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It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wow bdsm is so cute
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