then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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