somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
