girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
