3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
