I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
