how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
