do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i out mim tonsoeep
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