after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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