meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
