once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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