she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
