I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
