I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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