Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
