i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
