You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize