if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
