Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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