Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i don't like sucking hair
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
