i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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