I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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