Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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