I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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