My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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