i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
