i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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