My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
two words: eviction party
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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