I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so much tequila, so little girl.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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