is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They took my balls.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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