So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
