Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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