How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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