I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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