Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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