"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
