I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
