Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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