Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize