I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my liver is dry heaving
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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