I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
