Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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