I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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