My first STD was from a foam party
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
