WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
