We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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