Please, let me fuck your mom
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
