i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize