is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
