If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
