Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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