so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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