You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
