AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
