The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am one with the molecules
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
