You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
