have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
