So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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