ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
